Just Thinking…

August 11, 2015

I’m taking my daily (or what should be my daily) walk, and am for some reason reminded as I pass by a tall chain linked fence, of how, as a child, I most certainly would have reached out my hand, unconsciously, and let my fingers trail along the surface of that fence…thumpity thumpity thump, until my fingertips began to feel a bit numb from the vibration. But I continued to walk, hands down at my sides, leaving the fence to get smaller in the distance…a small tug from my former self to turn and go back. A do over.

As children there is an immediacy with which we interact with the world around us, and I miss it – in those brief, sparkling moments when I recall that sensation. There was more of a “being in” the world, being part  of it rather than just an observer. I mean, we even suck at observing, I feel, much of the time. Our brains on automatic – more mental energy going into sifting things out in order to streamline our experience to get us efficiently from here-to-there, than in really taking them in.

Our minds are slaves to time – that thing we seem to exponentially have less of as we get older. Something has to go, after all. If I were to take that same walk in the manner of my 6 year old self, I wouldn’t get to work until….well, probably about quitting time. It just isn’t practical. But how lovely it would be to be able to fully recall it, wholly, through my entire body, that physicality of presence and unscripted attention to everything occurring between each step.

That’s the walk I really want to take.